"If I was president this wouldn't have happened."
-John Kerry, referring to the current situation in Lebanon and Israel.
A Kerry presidency would also mean:
-It would never rain on weekends
-Every day would be Sunday
-Everyone would win the lottery
-Pizza would be fat free
-No more computer viruses
-The class dork can date the homecoming queen (yes, even Al Gore would have a shot)
-Global warming would end
-All taxes would be abolished (except on those greedy "rich" people)
-All entitlements would triple
-The federal budget would be balanced
and, most importantly:
-The French would love us
Did I miss anything?