Friday, September 17, 2004

CBS News has a consumer alert on their website warning their viewers about shrimp that may be contaminated. If you are a shrimp lover, as I am, you may want to read the story.

I did not, however, find a consumer alert on the website warning viewers about CBS News. In the interest of protecting the viewing public, the Noble Eagle Blog will issue one.

CONSUMER ALERT!!! (exclamation points added to underscore the seriousness of this alert.)
Viewing CBS News may seriously impair your ability to distinguish fact from fiction. Recent events have demonstrated that CBS News, and it's ace reporter/managing editor Dan Rather, operate under the belief that the seriousness of a story outweighs the authenticity of the evidence offered in support of the story. As a result of this policy, you may be subjected to a pack of lies that you are told to believe because Dan Rather says you should. Watch this program at your own risk.

Apparently, Rather & Co. believe that even if the documents are forged, their story is still legit. According to Rather:
The focus on "questions over the veracity of the memos was a smoke screen perpetrated by right-wing allies of the Bush administration," he said. "This is your basic fogging machine, which is set up to cloud the issue, to obscure the truth."

I wonder how Dan's "authenticity doesn't matter" philosophy would work out in the real world. To that end, I have devised a little experiment to test it (kids, DON'T try this at home). Take a $100 bill and make a really bad black & white copy of it (one side only). Then try passing it off at your local supermarket. When the cashier notices that it's a fake (believe it or not, about 1 in 5 won't), insist that it's real and refuse to leave the store until your transaction is complete. When the police come to arrest you, tell them that you believe that the bill is real, and that they have no business contradicting you on that. When you go to court, tell the judge that while the $100 bill may not be entirely authentic, you still believe that it's worth $100 dollars, and that these counterfeiting laws are like "your basic fogging machine, which is set up to cloud the issue, to obscure the truth." If charges are dismissed (for reasons other than insanity), I guess that Dan was right after all. If they aren't dismissed, I guess that means that Dan needs to get a freakin' clue.

DISCLAIMER: The above experiment is offered for illustrative purposes only. The Noble Eagle Blog accepts no responsibility for the fate of those dumb enough to actually try it. If you are that clueless you should not be viewing this website, you should be viewing a site intended for someone who is incapable of independent thought, like this one.

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