THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR

I got this list from a friend of mine. Not sure where it originated, but I found it amusing.


12. Life is actually sexually transmitted.

11. Being healthy is merely the slowest possible way for someone to die.

10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!

9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

8. Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying there in hospitals dying of nothing.

6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you hundreds of dollars while a substantial tax cut saves you a few cents?

3. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now that the world really is weird, people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. Have you ever noticed that it bears a very close resemblance to the first?

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE NEW YEAR:

1. Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas (some for as long as 10-15 years) and the government can't seem to catch them. However, consider Blockbuster, for example. If you're just two days late with a video rental, those people are all over you. Maybe we should put Blockbuster in charge of US immigration.