Me!!! That's right folks. I consider myself a big winner on Oscar
night. I'm a winner because I didn't waste hours of my life
watching Hollywood honor itself. Instead, I watched A&E's marathon
of "Dog the Bounty Hunter." I spent hours watching self-
destructive drug addicts winding up with a pair of stainless steel
handcuffs as a reward for their efforts. As opposed to the Academy
Awards, which gives such people a gold statue.
One thing I did miss, however, was the opportunity to learn that
"It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp." Apparently it isn't easy being a
thug who lives a parasitic life off women who work in the sex trade.
I never would've guessed that. Where's the justice in this world?